The Train Wreck That Was/Is AI Season 7

So I'm looking back on my notes from the running diary of last night's Idol...and I hate it. I don't know how Idolator managed to make theirs interesting, but mine's pretty lame. So in lieu of that, some rumblings from last night's episode, as taken from said diary.

-Number of times a contestant cried during the hour broadcast: 3 (all during the going home montages). David Cook did the best job of hiding it, but he squirted some too. Syesha was remarkably steadfast in her final song, which leads me to believe that a) she was determined to go out with some dignity, or b) she knew as well as everyone else that she was done this week and got her tears out last night.

-Estimated number of montages: 5, including that positively absurd one with the shameless Ford promotion in it. Are we really so shallow as to believe that Archuleta is gonna have piano by a reflecting pool and Cook will own a dozen cars?

Oh, wait...we are? Right. This is American Idol.

-Just once I'd like Ryan Seacrest to introduce himself as "your Captain Obvious for tonight's show." At least we'd know that's what his purpose was, beyond standing there looking only slightly less awkward than David Archuleta.

-Speaking of which, if Idol gave out points for personality, it'd be a whole different ballgame. Syesha had the advantage of not only being articulate on camera, but actually having some degree of presence when she's on TV. Archuleta was a goofy, plastered-on smiling dork who couldn't get three words out at a time. Cook probably has some real personality, but the whole rockstar image won't let much of it out, which is kind of a shame.

-David Cook definitely had the coolest coming home segment. Private jet, concert in front of a bazillion people, cheerleaders, and he threw out the first pitch at a baseball game (so what if it was the Royals?).

-Fantasia's performance = (Mary J Blige + P!nk + Janis Joplin) - Sexy

-Estimated number of potential movie plots from this season of AI: 2. One for David Cook being the guy who auditions on a whim and wins it all, and oh yeah, one for the whole thing being fixed. Maybe a third that ties the two together?

-On a scale from 1 to 10, how excited is Jason Castro about the summer tour? If this video is any indication, I'd say about a -32.

-You have to love how Seacrest blatantly plugged next season's subplot when he asks if we'll see David Cook's brother next year. Also noted is his mother's adamant head-shaking in the foreground as lil' Cook answers.

-By my count there have been 3 uses of material by Chris Daughtry on the show in the last two years; "Home" as the kicked-off song last year, his appearance on Idol Gives Back and "What About Now" during one of the montages. I can't decide if the obvious use of Daughtry's success is Idol's retroactive apology for showing him the door, or a backhanded "You're Welcome". Leaning toward the latter.

-Having watched just this one episode, I kind of feel bad for Syesha. She definitely got shafted, and she's a hell of a lot more interesting to watch than Archuleta, and has at least as much talent as Cook.

I think that's the best of what I got. In closing, running diaries are good for long events like the Grammys, but I don't know how to make an hour long show worth the trouble. As for the season, we all know what's gonna happen. Sit back and watch the carnage, or just go on with your life as usual. Six months from now when Spygate: Idol Edition breaks, look for me to be leaning against a wall, arms folded in self-satisfaction.

And yes, I am rooting for David Cook, despite the fix. (Memo to iTunes: PLEASE get his studio version of "Baba O'Riley" up)

David Cook - Let's Go

==TJ==